Early Morning Love

I kept stopping at work today and thinking back on this morning.

The dark, getting-cold, early hours of an Autumn morning.

I stretch out under the doona, vaginal dilator held snugly between my thighs, the cold retreating, the warmth seeping in - slowly. I drift off into a cat sleep, alert to time, not letting myself lose myself into too deep a sleep, not letting myself be late for work.

I stir and wake, aware of a warm presence along my long flank. I turn my head; the soft, cold light dimly picks out an untidy desk and clothes draped over chairs.

Next to me, very, very close, is my darling Alex, my heat-seeking missile, nuzzling, as close as he can get, some primordial female source of warmth and softness and safety. Quietly, I send out soft, gentle waves of love to lap around his dear head. He is lying on his belly, hands tucked under his chin like a little animal asleep on its paws.

Oh! Goddess! That I may never have to leave here, leave now!

I would cling to him like a koala backpack to a schoolchild. Holding his playlunch like I hold my heart for him. Hugging him tight with my furry straps as he builds dubious dams of bright orange clay in rain-rushing gullies. Tonight I would smell of overripe banana and schoolboy and his mother would stuff his shoes with newspaper.

I do feel blessed...and loved, dearly, oh! so dearly!